How it All Went Down

No, folks, 3:30 a.m. was not a typo.

This past Wednesday (well, Thursday, really) was a great education in the excrutiatingly slow wheels of lawmaking.  I had never participated in a committee hearing before, though I vaguely remember learning something about their existence in my high school government class.

I was originally due to speak sometime around 1:00 in the afternoon.  But the committee, which was hearing 13 bills, decided to switch the order around.  First up was the bill that would allow pharmacists to deny filling birth control prescriptions.  Then there were two opposing parental consent bills.  I was told to stay home and relax and they'd call me when they were half-way through the parental consent bills.

So at 7:30 p.m. I left home, after choking down a few slices of pizza and giving Hannah a kiss.  They debated the parental consent bills right up until 3:00 a.m.  No time limits on the speakers.  In fact, no seeming need for the speakers to even be on topic.  I was glad I hadn't been there all day, plucking my eyelashes out one-by-one.  Somewhere around 11:00 p.m. I had decided that I would stay, come hell or high water, and say my piece. 

And man, was I glad I did.  Even though my boobs were damn near exploding from the long overdue need to feed Hannah.  I managed to get through my testimony exactly as I'd hoped to.  And I even made a difference.

The largely anti-choice group of legislators actually listened - I think.  They asked pertinent questioned and seemed to understand the implications of my story, which applied to several of the pending bills that were being discussed that evening.  The committee head even teared up as he told us that his own daughter had suffered a still birth at 7 months.  I believe he understood that had her doctors caught something earlier, she could have very well ended up in my shoes.

I left feeling empowered, instead of persecuted; heard instead of shamed.  I'm very proud of myself for taking the risk and speaking up.

____________________________________

I cannot express how amazed I was at the grace and support shown by all of you in the comments of my last post.  Of the nearly 100 comments, only two were unsupportive - and even they admit that they cannot argue against my choice.  (Isn't there a saying about the exception proving the rule?)

The only point I felt I might need to make, though I know it wouldn't change the minds of those who've refused to listen, is this:

NO ONE IS AN ADVOCATE FOR ABORTION.

WE ARE ADVOCATES FOR CHOICE.

I don't know why people seem to think that there are some humans who get a kick out of abortion, or encourage it, or want people to have them.  What pro-choice advocates want is to enable women and families to decide for themselves what their best option is - regardless of what others believe.

There.

I feel better.

__________________________________

Shelba gets her referral SOON!  Everyone go stare at her sight until it happens!

Comments

[Liz]

Thank you thank you for saying that. I was SO tempted to leave a piece of my mind on the comments on the other thread for the two unsupportive voices, but did not want the commentary to degenerate into a brawl.

But what you just said NEEDED to be said and thanks for that. It is actually possible for one to be both pro-life and pro-choice - pro-life for themselves and pro-choice meaning that they advocate for everyone to make the right decision for themselves, their partner, etc.

Off to Shelba's :)!

[Ollie]

Sweetie, you are such a hero. I wish this wasn't a battle you had to fight at all, but dammit, I am proud to know you (even if only through the net.)

[Lisa V]

Thank you for being so well-spoken.

[jlp]

Again, I have to say thank you, even though a simple thank you seems wholly insufficient.

On a logistical note: I am having difficulty reading your previous post due to formatting issues (the top half of the post is squished into one very long paragraph). I read it when it was first posted, and the problem wasn't there then, but it is now.

I wouldn't care except that I suspect that an email containing the URL for that post is making its way around the country (and the globe) right now, and I would hate for anyone to give up on reading your story just due to formatting issues. Anyhow, FYI.

[Soper]

I think the text of your speech was perfect, and I am so proud of you for doing this.

[FrumDad]

I'm shaking. That was beautiful. And wow.

Also... thanks for the "pro-CHOICE not pro-ABORTION" bit. From my peculiar perspective, that's the single most difficult distinction to get through to people.

Not that your post is gonna help me much. But it was nice to see.

--FD

[Kathleen]

Beautifully said, as always.

If I were pro-abortion, I'd say so. I'm pro-choice, I support causes that keep abortion legal and I support causes that provide help to women who choose to continue their pregnancies. The issue is not abortion, the issue is who gets to decide? The woman or the government? I know who I trust.

Big hugs to you, your husband and your two beloved children.

[Stephanie]

Thank you for sticking to your guns. You are incredible. I agree with you about the pro-choice rather than pro-abortion.

[Mom]

Well, Sweetie, I just looked at the reaction on Christine's page, and I couldn't be more proud of you. Your enlightened and eloquent statement speaks volumes about the compassion you've learned, having walked in these dark shadows. And the wonderful women you've met on your blog who have similar stories are the ones who know the real you. I guess I was silly to think that comments like I just read on that blog went out in the 70's when women were learning to be supportive and helpful to their sisters. I had to laugh at the thought that anyone put you up to this! They don't know the tough, wonderful woman I raised. You bet we'll see Thomas in heaven, and we'll dance, because there he will be perfect and whole. You're a treasure to me.
Mom

[Bente]

Very well said, it's so important for there to be people like you in this world.

[Liz]

Best. Mom. Ever.

'nuff said.

[Maya]

Julia,

Your words are forever a part of my advocacy. As I continue to lobby during this administration, your words give me strength. Tonight I have sent a donation to PCA, in the name of the woman who "blasphemed" you & your experience....as that speaks volumes over arguing with someone of that capacity who opposes choice.

Thank you from the source of my soul.

[Sherry]

Julia = my hero.

Thank you for doing what you did.

[AmyC]

There are no words to describe my feelings on your strength, grace, and courage. Sherry summed it up well, YOU.ARE.A.HERO. Thank you.

[JuliaKB]

Julia,

I didn't get to tell you this after your last post. But you are absolutely a hero. It's a damn shame that the environment we live in has made it so that you have to be a hero, so that your private grief has to be displayed to make the very important point you made.
Thank you for taking this on. Thank you for making yourself a public face for the many who don't dare.

[libby]

I didn't get the chance to thank you before, so I'll do it now. THANK YOU Julia, for your courage, your eloquence, and your grace. Thank you for standing up for all the women who for whatever reason cannot do so. Your speech gave me goosebumps, literally, and made me cry at work.

And your mom ROCKS!

[Beth]

I really admire your courage in speaking out publicly about your experience.

[susannah]

thank you so much for sharing your story. you are very brave and wonderful.

[GeeBee]

I understand your feelings about abortion when it applies to such heart breaking and necessary circumstances such as the one you and your husband have suffered. But...

What are your thoughts on teenagers that have had 4 and 5 abortions? I have worked with youth ministry for over 7 years, and have had NUMEROUS girls between 12 and 15 that have had MORE THAN 4 miscarriages simply because they found themselves pregnant... AGAIN... "oops! I'm pregnant... how'd that happen? Guess I'll get another abortion."

I get so frustrated... especially since I've struggled with infertility for 15 years (thank God, I'm finally pregnant).

But haven't these kids heard of abstenence, birth control... condoms... ANYTHING?!? Does their ignorance excuse abortion of a perfectly healthy child?

That's where I have a hard time with choice. They aren't adults, and they certainly don't think like adults. "Geez, my mom's gonna kill me if she finds out I'm pregnant... I gotta get rid of it!" is NOT making an informed, adult choice.

Any insight to help me understand? PLEASE???

Thanks.

[Jo]

GeeBee,

What you are discribing is absolutely horrible. You are correct they are not making an "adult" choice.

Maybe these kids haven't heard or birth control. Unfortunately some people believe that by keeping their children ignorant of the "facts of life" that it will safeguard them. It doesn't work.

I believe that we should keep unage sex as illegal but inform our children at an early age about sex, birthcontrol and the consequences. Some schools in America actually get their students to look after "babies", it seems to be very effective. Teach our children about the pressures they may come under and give them the information, and trust them to do their best. After all that is what we do when it comes to the rest of life.

[katie]

You know, you can't legislate morality. It either exists in the hearts of men/women or it doesn't. And it is the job of us as parents to carry that tradition on into our children. We need to teach our next generation about the true facts of life.

None of this should be an issue, but it is. It seems only logical to me that it would be up to you and your husband to either continue the pregnancy or not. You did what you did out of love for your Thomas. I have no doubt of that. If everyone made their "choices" from a vantage point of love rather than selfishness then the world would look a whole lot different.

[kathy]

GeeBee,

I've worked as a substitute teacher off and on for a few years and I'm always saddened at the high rates of teenage pregnancy and teenage abortions I see and hear about almost daily. You're right, these kids aren't making adult choices. But they're NOT adults. They're kids who very often haven't heard of birth control, or if they have, they don't have any access to it. I'm a very strong advocate for choice, but I don't think abortion should be used as a birth control method either. The best solution would be to prevent unwanted pregnancies before they occur. However, until everyone, even teenage girls, has accurate information about and access to birth control, it will keep on happening. Making it illegal/harder for these girls to terminate unwanted pregnancies isn't going to help the situation, they'll just get illegal and unsafe abortions.

[Rosetta]

I just want to thank you so sincerely for your voice and honesty and courage in these past two posts. I too had the distinct feeling of meeting God, face to face, during the abortion I had almost 5 years ago. While I grieve my loss, I know I made the right choice, and I carry a God given peace after making a decision that was both difficult and tragic. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I don't know what else to say.