I know I should be more adult than this, but I can't help it! Hannah has a few books - most are particular favorites - with passages that make me snort. I thought I'd share, so I can prove to myself that I'm not the only Purvy Perverson around.
From The Runaway Bunny by Margaret Wise Brown:
"If you become the wind and blow me," said the little bunny,
"I will join a circus and fly away on a flying trapeze."
From Chicka Chicka Boom Boom by Bill Martin Jr. and John Archambault:
"Last to come
X Y Z.
And the sun goes down on the coconut tree..."
"'Whee!" said D to E F G"
[It's not written with an "and", but when I'm reading I tend to say "E F 'n G".]
The title alone is disturbing. Especially when my husband gives his rendering of "Baum Chicka Baum Baum", which is generally accepted as representing 70 porn music.
Of course, for general weirdness, you can't go wrong with Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes:
"Peter, Peter; pumpkin-eater;
Had a wife and couldn't keep her;
He put her in a pumpkin shell,
And there he kept her very well."
[I keep reading "eater" as "eat 'er". And why can't he keep her? Is his wife a slut? And if so, how does a pumpkin shell make for good house arrest?]
"Pease porridge hot,
Pease porridge cold,
Pease porridge in the pot,
Nine days old.
Some like it hot,
Some like it cold,
Some like it in the pot,
Nine days old."
[Pease porridge sound pretty awful to me. And I find it doubtful that anyone could like it cold, let alone nine days old. I mean really, that's just unsanitary. Plus, the sounds of "pee" and "pot" gross me out right from the start.]
I have more, but I can't get to them right now since Hannah's napping. Anyone else want to offer up their favorite nursery rhyme perversions?