Okay, so it's not just my ridiculously busy schedule that's kept me from blogging.
Todd and I have some relationship "issues" cropping up, and they're taking a serious toll. For a girl who's willing to draw pen-and-ink sketches of her uterus, write out first-hand narratives of bikini waxes gone awry, and discuss the most personal of personal decisions, then hit "publish"... well, I find myself strangely at a loss for words about all of this.
There are many factors: the cost of the financial strain we've been under for the past few years; his loss of identity over the past year and his new duties as stay-at-home dad; the role-reversal that we've always had to deal with in terms of our love life; and others I won't go into.
We've been married for over eight years now, together for ten. I am very much in love with my husband, but we have to do some work to get to the point where I feel that he's still in love with me, too.
My biggest hope is that all of this is situational, and that we can pick through each part to "fix" it. But I don't know how much of this I can or will talk about here. It's one thing to dissect my own psyche and quirks, but I'm not sure where the boundaries are when it comes to sharing our relationship here. And I think it would be wiser to save that mental energy for working through all of this. Because that's my first priority and obligation, and frankly, it's draining work.
My stats are plummeting lower than they've ever been, and I've never gone so long without posting in the entire six-year history of this blog. But some things are worth a steep decline in popularity.
I'm not abandoning the blog - don't know if I could if I tried. I just wanted to be as honest with you as I can about why I've fallen off the face of the earth. I'll still post when the moment calls for it, and if all goes well, I'll be back to my old self soon. In the meantime, there's a grindstone that needs my attention.
I know you understand.