Do you ever just have one of those days - they usually come out of nowhere - when you just get caught off guard and anger and confusion descend like crazed looney toons characters from on high? Well that's me today. I'm feeling beyond vulnerable, pissed off, pissed on, and not at all at peace.
I tried to call my RE's office for some more concrete information about my diagnosis today. I'm beginning to hate her more and more. I had the pleasure of dealing only with her nurse who politely informed me that my uterus is half-full of scar tissue.
"But what does that mean? Is that a typical case? A severe case?"
"I think that's pretty rare."
Well, excuse me, nursey-poo but I don't give a flying-rat's-ass what YOU think!!! I care what the doctor thinks! Or I might, if I knew she was qualified.
Which brought me to my next question:
"How many cases of this severity has she treated before? And what were their outcomes?"
"She says she's treated too many to even count. And their outcomes really depended on their specific situations."
It wasn't until I got off the phone and began crying in the shower that I realized she hadn't really given me any information at all. And here's what I don't get. If my case is pretty rare, then how has she treated countless women with the same severity?! Wouldn't that make it common?
AAARRRRGHHHHH!!!!
My surgery is scheduled for a week and one day from now. And I don't really know what to do. My pre-op appointment is for Monday. I have two thoughts:
1. Move up my appointment to tomorrow or Thursday so I'll have more time to mull this over and decide if I want this doc's tools in my hoo-ha.
2. Call the only doctor who's ever treated me like a human (a super-angel who visited me in the hospital after my hemorrhaging episode to tell me that it wasn't just bad luck - something must be wrong) and ask for her advice.
I really, really dislike days like today.
