Tomorrow I returned to that hallowed ground, that holiest of holies, the radiology lab. Yes, ladies and gents, it is time once again to spread my legs and ask - yea verily PAY - a stranger to inflate a balloon in my hoo-ha, followed by some dye, and then "CHEEEESE!" take a picture of it. That's right. It's HSG time.
Earlier this week, when I said I wasn't scared about the results, I lied. I'm not very scared, but it's there. That little piece of knowledge that when something unexpected can go wrong, it will - at least it will when I'm involved in the equation.
Of course, the test results aren't what really scares me. I think I've enjoyed this hiatus from Dante's fifth circle more than I'd admitted. And now, as we approach D-Day (Decision Day, that is), the fear of pregnancy and everything that's come with it for me begins to creep back in. But then again, so has the desire.
I worked all afternoon making a baptismal cap for my best friend's baby. It's truly beautiful. After she's baptized in, when she's grown and gets married, it converts into a lace handkerchief to carry during the ceremony. I modeled it after the one my godmother gave me, which I wore for my baptism, carried in my wedding, and then used for Thomas's baptism. The remarkable thing is that I felt great to make it. I didn't spend the whole time thinking what ifs, but focused instead on how much my best friend and her coming daughter will appreciate the gift.
All in all, not a bad way to spend Easter. So, wish me luck on the hoo-ha pictures, and I'll let you know what happens as D-Day approaches.
