This will be the first in a series of "half-baked" reviews. Why? Because I have wonderful intentions by not much time. The author, Andy Steiner, sent me this book when Caroline was maybe a week old. It sat wholly neglected on my nightstand for a while. And then I picked it up and began reading it in two-page chunks, as time permitted.
So, in the interest of full disclosure, I have not read this book in it's entirety. I have, however, read enough to form an opinion. So there.
Spilled Milk is not your typical how-to guide on breastfeeding. There are no pencil sketches of correct latch, no tables of symptoms and their correlating cause, no hyped-up theories or propaganda about how breastfeeding is the only right thing to do.
Andy assumes that you'll learn as much as you can about the how-tos and whys in all of guides and classes that address breastfeeding. Instead, she tried to replicate what may in fact be the most helpful form of advice known to womankind: the girls' pow-wow. Spilled Milk reads much more like a transcript from my last Moms' Night Out than it does a breastfeeding manual.
Steiner goes out of her way to keep judgment out (in fact, my only complaint about the book is that she reiterates her "no judgment" statement a wee bit too much). But I do agree that there's far to much judgment in most of the literature out there. Breastfeeding is great - we get it! We don't need to be beat over the head with it. Nor do we need to keep the scarier stories of breastfeeding out of the canon for fear of scaring mothers away from trying.
As a whole, moms are an intelligent breed. If we make up our mind to try nursing, what we really need is the straight skinny on what it's going to be like and how to stay on track - not some soft-focus painting of how glorious breastfeeding is that just makes us feel like failures when reality doesn't play out accordingly.
I think Steiner has accomplished that goal quite well. She interviewed dozens of women who had nursed - some more successfully than others - and compiled their stories. She talks about the good, the bad, and the politically-charged. She talks about mother-in-laws, well-meaning but ill-informed friends, gawkers, fathers, and random strangers. She includes embarrassing stories of let-down fiascoes, accidental public flashing, painful accounts of clogged ducts and blistered nipples. But she also talks of the bliss that can come in the wee hours when you've finally figured it out. I had to laugh out loud as Steiner talked of the sonnets she's composed in her head as she nursed her four-month-old in the wee hours. I laughed because I was doing the exact same thing the very night before. Something to do with her arm acting like a charmed snake. Hey, don't judge. There were hormones and sleep deprivation involved!
Some of my favorite stories were those of mothers who seemed to have gone off the rails entirely due to all sorts of circumstances, but found their way through to some happy conclusion. For some, it was a marriage of some nursing and some formula, for others it was exclusive breastfeeding, and for others it was a happy acceptance that their circumstances required formula and they were doing what was best for their baby.
I think the reason I like this book so much is that first-time mothers too often lack this sort of veteran-to-newbie mom exchange that in generations past informed most every mom's parenting decisions. How-to is great, but "Watch out! Curves ahead!" is even better.
Spilled Milk is probably redundant for those moms who've already successfully negotiated nursing. But for new moms or for those who are going to give nursing another shot, this book is a great tool for the arsenal. And from one mom to another, here's a hint: Read this and all other books BEFORE baby comes along. Because you won't be reading again for a very long time.
