First, let me sheepishly proclaim, "The dog ate my homework." I was supposed to post this review on Monday. But, understandably, I let some good, 'ol fashioned griping and a few work items take priority. My apologies.
In a world filled with lots and lots (and lots) of fuzzy, fluffy books on parenting, Rose Rock (mama to Chris Rock) has certainly found a gap. Her new book, Mama Rock's Rules, is a refreshing, and dare I say "old school" approach to parenting that just plain makes good sense. Instead of pointing to scientific studies about the merits of "sleep methods" or the effects of breastfeeding of grown men's ability to bond, blah blah blah - Rock bases her rules on real-life experience. Experience gained by raising, as the title says, a whole household of successful people. Ten kids plus 17 foster children, to be specific. Add to that her lifelong work as a preschool and special needs educator, and by golly you've got a woman I'll listen to.
The book is well-formated and approachable, with the promised ten lessons laid out in ten chapters. She pulls out special bits of wisdom and tools into "Mama's Mojo" blurbs, and she recaps each mini-lesson at chapter's end. The advice doesn't hone in on early parenting, but rather rules that lend themselves to nearly any age - including high school, which is an age I have yet to see addressed in any of the parenting books I've read so far.
Before I get into what I particularly loved about this book, let me get one point of criticism out of the way: I am not overly impressed with the readability of the writing. I feel like Rose's actual voice is trapped somewhere in there, but doesn't come through too clearly. Who knows who's to blame for that, given the lengthy list of people involved in the publishing of a book, but instead of simply going with a more casual true-to-life vernacular, you'll find stilted sayings that sound like they put her true phrases in straight-jackets, along with a healthy overuse of unnecessary "quotes". Yeah. Just like that.
To solve this for myself, I simply threw in a few more "'em"s instead of "them"s, and filled in some colloquialisms when needed.
Okay, onto the good stuff. Rock's mantra throughout the book is one that I think many of us have lost sight of in our efforts to be perfect parents. It's simple: "I am the parent. You are the child. It's my job to make the rules, and your job to follow them." Paired with reminders that made me take a good look at myself, like when to let things slide and when not to, Rock's advice is where the rubber meets the road. Some are highly-specific, others are broad concepts, but all of them are spelled out and applicable.
One of my absolute favorite chapters focuses on the power of the family meal. I know that's a popular concept lately, but Rock goes into details and explains exactly why having a shared meal is so very important. And then she shares her recipe for sweet potato pie. What other parenting book have you read that includes that?!
"Once kids get a full stomach, things loosen up. They not only eat the beans - they spill the beans. Everything would come out at the table, especially secrets."
Her love of praise and self-esteem is evident throughout the book, as she reminds us that there is no such thing as too much praise.
"Each kid [in her son, Andre's class] was asked to share what their parents said about them; [the teacher] told us 95 percent of the kids in her class repeated something negative. She quickly added that Andre was another story; he didn't hesitate to say, 'My mother thinks I'm the greatest thing there is!'"
And perhaps my favorite chapter title, "Don't Lie Down with Anything You Don't Want to Live with Forever" deals, obviously, with preparing kids to deal with sex (at whatever point that happens).
Since I'm obviously getting long-winded, I'll sum it us thusly: Take the time to get past the halting language and read this one. It'll give you the long-term vantage point and straight-to-the-point tactics you've been missing. And don't forget the sweet potato pie recipe.
