Uncommon Julia

In Living Color

I found these photos of Magda, Sarah, Cecily, and me at one of the BlogHer '09 parties through Esther at Faint Star Lite.  Esther is a power-packed, intelligent, dynamo of a person.  She's petite, but her personality is anything but.

We had some great conversations at BlogHer about the future of social media, commerce, and what the future might look like for a gal trying to make blogging profitable.  Her input led Magda and me to a couple of epiphanies that we hope to put into play at some point - not just for ourselves, but for you, too.

Wait - where was I?  Oh, the pictures*! I thought these were hilarious and entertaining, and also show me in a much more flattering light and pose than Cecily's iPhone.  Hey, I'm nothing if not vain.

(Okay, so I said more flattering - not entirely flattering.)

 

*pictures courtesy eyeficard.

And here's another one - perhaps not so fitting with the title since they're black & white - but fun nonetheless.  We could have charged admission to let people watch us packed in the photo booth, unable to time our poses or smile - or hell, whether or not we were even in the frame!  The additional blogger in our motley crew is Victoria of The Mummy Chronicles.  We basically kidnapped her for a portion of the night and she tolerated us with good humor.

Can you tell that posting photos is the universal signal for "I have too much going on to compose legitimate, well-thought-out posts"?  'Cause it is.

I just had a beeery, beeery interestink phone interview this morning that could either be:

a) The opened window we've been waiting for, or

b) Nothing at all whatsoever.  Just keep walkin'.  Nothin to see here folks.

I hope the photos are enough to keep you interested while we see how it all unfolds.

Resolution... Finally.

I called the Sheraton Chicago yet again today.  This time I spoke to a different manager entirely.  He apologized for having to ask me to review the whole sorry story, and then, agreed that they should comp the stay.  He also apologized and sounded genuine about it.

I'm hoping the refund happens quickly.  Our health insurance premium is knocking quite loudly at the door.

Thank you all for rallying behind me on this one.  I wish someone from Sheraton had paid attention to what's being said about them online, but I guess they can't all be as savvy as we are, eh?!

Alrighty... back to the boxes.

Don't Say I Never Did Anything For You

I doubt anyone says this enough about their readers, so can I just be the first to say that I have THE MOST INCREDIBLE READERS EVER IN THE HISTORY OF BLOGGING.

Why?  Let me count the ways: First and foremost you've been the key to my sanity and a very literal lifeline over the past five-and-a-half years.

Secondly, you sent me to BlogHer '09 on your own dime!  I had nary a corporate sponsor!  Do you know how many other bloggers had that?  None!  At least, none that I met.  And trust me, I told everyone within ear shot (and probably some nice folks in the ladies' room who could've really given a damn) that I was sent here by my readers, thankyouverymuch.

Thirdly, when I posted the letter I sent to the CEO of the Sheraton Chicago about the less-than-stellar oh, screw it, suck-tastic screw-ups that threatened to spoil not only my trip, but my family's financial health, too, YOU SNUCK FUNDS INTO MY PAYPAL ACCOUNT!!

Who does that?!  Crazy people?  Maybe.  My readers?  Definitely.  It was the Sheraton's 'eff-up, not yours, and yet a few of you felt like reaching out and doing something.  Which ranks you a whole helluva lot higher than the no-show CEO.  I thank you from the bottom of my heart.  And I beg you to quit.  Save that money for the next time I come callin!

I fear it's going to be a few more days before I can write up the recap post(s) you all deserve.  We're moving on Friday, half-way packed, filled to the brim with work and money stress, and no child care to boot. (Perhaps a care package of booze would be appropriate. Can you PayPal booze?  Hey, someone should get on that.  Million dollar idea.)

But I did want to impart a few lessons that I learned while at BlogHer:

1. You all really are just as I'd imagined you.  Even if you don't look like I pictured, you certainly are the same person once we start talking.  I assume the same is true of those of you I've not met and maybe (sniff) never will.  This is what makes this movement so unspeakably wonderful. (It is also why I went to the bathroom and left the door open within hours of meeting Cecily and Sarah, and then did the same with Moxie the next day.  Thankfully, they found it more humorous than insulting.  At least, that's what they said.)

2. We all have more power than we know.  It's not about the numbers, the popularity, the design, or the ads.  You have readers who listen to what you have to say.  We should value that influence and we should find intelligent ways to improve our lives by using that voice.

3. Some women will withstand scary crowds for a free sex toy.  I am one of those women.

4. I have at least 12 women who read me and are willing to admit so to my face.  Holla!  The fact that they then squealed, "OH MY GOD YOU'RE MOXIE!" over my shoulder and promptly dropped my business card to shake her hand makes no difference to me.  Really, I'm cool.

5. Other people are as bad about commenting on the blogs they read as I am.  Which makes me feel a bit better about myself.  And also allows me to fantasize about how popular I really am... they're here, they're just not commenting.

6. Never let Cecily photograph you from the side while wearing a shirt with gathers in the front.  'Nuf said.

7. When you go all fan-girl on an author in a hotel check-in line, you can still downplay it enough to get a free, autographed book later on.  'Sup, Stefanie.  How's it hangin?  Me? I'm good.  You know, just bein' calm and not at all crazed.

8. Having a conversation in the ladies' room with the Bloggess will always be more entertaining than an actual party.  Especially when live action Smurf p0rn is on the list of discussion points.

9. Moxie will fall asleep in the middle of your conversation.  And you should in no way take it personally.  She will totally make up for it the next day with kick-ass business concepts and affirmative mommy advice.

10. Three days just isn't enough.

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By the by, if you know the magic html code, you can steal that there T-shirt image and make a little button for your blog.  If I knew how to display the code within this post I'd show you.  But I'm not that much of a bad ass.  Yet.

Why, Thank You for Asking!

A little drama to start off your day:  Since this snafu figured largely into my BlogHer '09 experience, I thought I'd share it with you.  Suffice it to say, the Sheraton Chicago screwed up.  Not once, not twice, but FOUR TIMES.  Really, more, if you count their inability to follow-through.  When I received a mass email from the CEO asking for my feedback, I was only too happy to oblige.  Let's see what happens:

Ms. Harth-Bates,

Thank you for asking for feedback about my stay with you at the Sheraton Chicago.  Your timing couldn't be better.  Just minutes ago I left yet another message with your front desk staff for the manager on duty in an attempt to resolve - once and for all - a series of mistakes that has truly derailed my life this week.

Let me preface this by explaining that, perhaps unlike your typical clientele, I had the honor of staying at your hotel and attending the BlogHer '09 conference entirely on donations from my blog readers.  Many of these donations were as small as $2 and came from women just like myself who have very little to give to anyone.  I had no corporate sponsorship, and thus, felt compelled to be a good steward of every single dollar that was given to me.

On Thursday, when I checked in, I was told that my debit card had never been charged for the deposit - as I was assured over and over again it would be back in May when I made the reservation.  This was a small problem for me because I assumed I had already paid that amount and only had two nights left to cover.  The clerk asked if I was sharing the room, and I told her that I was and we would be splitting the fees.  She took my debit card once again to take the deposit, which I was assured would be the $199 rate for one night's stay.

The next day, in the middle of a conference session, my phone began ringing over and over again.  It was my husband, and then my mother, both frantically trying to get in touch with me to tell me that nearly $800 had been debited from our bank account.

I had to leave the session to go to the front desk and find out what had happened.  I spoke with the manager on duty, Gaby, who informed me of a number of mistakes:
1. They did not split the room rates between me and my roommate.
2. They had debited the TOTAL FOR ALL THREE NIGHTS PLUS $40 in incidentals.
3. No one had explained that when using a debit card, the money isn't held, it is actually removed.

My husband and I do not have any credit cards whatsoever.  We are in the midst of a financial crisis, as are many families in this economy.  Your accidental debit left us with a negative bank balance.  My husband had no money to buy gas or food for our two young girls, and I had no money for lunch or anything else at the conference.  What's more, we're moving on Friday, and had several automatic withdrawals and payments coming up.

Gaby reacted swiftly and professionally, and by that evening, she had the money back in the bank.

Saturday night, as I packed and readied to leave the next day, my roommate and I reviewed our bill on the television.  We were frustrated - though not surprised - to find that our bill was incorrect yet again.  I had been charged nearly $700, and she had been charged nothing.  There were three days of internet fees, even though that was explicitly free in our BlogHer contract.  I set my alarm a half-hour early to make time to resolve this new issue.

Once again, Gaby acted professionally and fixed those mistakes, crediting myself and my roommate $75 for our inconvenience.  I headed over to the ATM to get money for the cab and food at the airport and was surprised that my card wouldn't let me withdraw any money.  I borrowed $40 from my roommate and once I got home I discovered what had happened.

My husband informed me that your hotel had once again debited the two earlier debits from Friday, once again dropping our account a mistaken $800.  We were in the negative AGAIN.

I called and spoke to Lindsay at the front desk.  She couldn't offer an explanation, but sent the same fax to our bank (after a series of phone calls between me, the bank, and her) to get the holds withdrawn.  I asked her to follow up with the bank and with me to let me know that everything was taken care of.  I did not hear back.

The next morning, nothing had been fixed.  I called the hotel yet again, and this time spoke with Gaby.  I explained the problem and told her that the bank has no method of re-running a hold, and that it must have been initiated accidentally by the Sheraton.  I asked her to fix the problem immediately and requested that she cover any over-draft charges that might result of our negative balance.  I also explained that my family was unable to purchase gas, food, or pay bills while being held hostage by this mistake - not easy circumstances when you've got a two- and four-year-old and are days away from moving.  I told her that after this many mistakes and the hours of time I'd spent away from my conference, my work, and my family while dealing with the whole mess, I was disinclined to pay anything at all for my portion of the stay, which stood at $275, roughly.  She offered to take another $75 off but said that was all she could do.

As of that afternoon, the problem still hadn't been resolved, and no one had contacted me.  I took matters into my own hands and finally managed to verify that the funds were back.  I called the hotel and spoke to Lindsay, and explained that I was beyond frustrated and wanted more than another $75 off for my many inconveniences.  She said she would discuss it with Gaby and call me back within the hour.  I NEVER HEARD BACK.

Today is Wednesday, and we've just been debited the full $275 - with no additional $75 taken off, and certainly nothing more done for us.  I called and left another message for either Gaby or Lindsay but haven't heard back.  And then I received your e-mail asking for input.  So here's my summary:

Though Gaby handled things well, I have been SERIOUSLY, REPEATEDLY inconvenienced by your hotels many mistakes.  Your attempts at compensation have fallen woefully short, and I haven't been able to trust your staff to truly follow-through.  I am very displeased with the quality of my stay, even beyond these mistakes.

I will be speaking about my experiences online, through my blog and through twitter, to explain to my readers how their sponsorship was abused by your mistakes.  You have an opportunity to correct things and curb my unhappy response.  After all we have been through, I think the only appropriate response is to refund my stay entirely.  At this point, anything short of that leaves my frustration intact.

I hope you will take the time to respond and to fully consider this matter, as I would hate for this same thing to happen with other guests.

Respectfully,

Uncommon Julia

Technical Difficulties

I brought Todd's laptop with me to BlogHer because who comes to a blogging conference without some method of internet access?  But I'm guessing that the laptop would be a much more effective tool, if I could charge it.

No, I didn't forget the power cord.  It simply isn't working.  Now I can't even get the damned thing to boot up!  And my cell phone, wacky as this may seem, is a relic of the early 21st century and only - get this! - makes phone calls!

So while I have loads of funny stories, not so funny stories, pictures, videos, and mishaps to relate, I have no way of sharing them.  Moxie has been kind enough to let me hijack her laptop to get this post up. 

The good news is that while the  sessions have been sort of lackluster, the ideas that we're kicking around in small groups (me, Moxie, Cecily, etc.) are well worth every inconvenience or disappointment.

Man, I can't wait to tell you more.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for getting me here.

Let the Wild Rumpus Begin!

I made it!  I'm here!

I arrived too late for registration, but that didn't stop me from slappin' in on a dress and heading out to some parties!  I met Cecily, Sarah, Aurelia, and others.  A few had even heard of me before.  Okay, two.  But that's only one less than a "few".  I heard that Mel was looking for me, but that could have just been Cecily trying to pump me up.

My roomie, Moxie, had a helluva day of one delay after another, finally forcing her to stay home tonight.  She should be arriving midday tomorrow.  She asked me to swipe a swag bag for her that was rumored to include a sex toy... sadly, the crowd of women flocking to said swag bags was far too, well, scary, for me.  So I only grabbed the one.  And hey, no roomate tonight! :)

On that note, I'm turning in before the hour gets plain ridiculous.  I can already tell that my biggest trouble will be finding the time to relay all of this to you guys.  Don't worry, though, I'm storing up video and pictures for deeper documentation.

Will it Need a Plane Ticket of its Own?

Signs I may be more nervous about BlogHer '09 than I expected:

1. I may have overlooked a few things in my initial plans.  Namely: Getting from the airport to the hotel (and back); the cost of printing business cards; and looking into the weather.

Fortunately, my mom is sending me a check to cover the transportation (but man, it would be nice to split those costs, so if anyone's looking to share a ride, please PLEASE let me know).  I've taken two seconds to look into the weather and was pleased to learn that my hair won't catch fire as I step off the plane, as it might here.  I could actually wear pants!  Which expands my wardrobe options nicely.  I'm just going to have to suck up the cost of the business cards, but surely it's worth it.

[Unreal! I just received an e-mail from a lady arriving a half-hour after me.  Perhaps you'd like to join us in a cab ride?]

2. I had nightmares last night about a) a forest fire burning across our property while I cared for a half-dozen girls who were having their first sleepover/campout; and b) that close friends disclosed to use that they thought we were immoral over the course of a dinner party with all our friends.

If I put my therapist hat on, I can recognize that this is my default mode when I'm venturing into female-dominated situations.  Because of my years of bullying, I learned to go into a defensive stance, self-evaluating for any perceived flaws or chinks in my armor (real or imagined), and then I shadow-box over and over again, practicing my reactions and arguments.  Even in my sleep.

3. I have a zit on my chin that is so enormous I'm pretty sure he's going to demand business cards of his own.  I know!  Just in time for the prom!  I'm actually pretty surprised at this one.  It's been a long time since I got a pimple as a result of anything other than hormonal swings.  And man, is it a doozy.  Even Caroline was mesmerized by it this morning, pointing and laughing (so not kidding) as she sat in my lap eating toast.

I'm medicating it as best I can.  But hey, maybe this'll just be another way to pick me out of the crowd: Blonde, leggy, with a zit big enough for it's own zip code.  I can't wait to be photographed and published all over the internet in this state!

4. I'm intentionally over-packing.  I have no idea what to expect, and so far I seem to be packing every combination that could reasonably be called "an outfit" just in case I happen to need it.

5. But I'm also fretting over baggage space.  I hear the swag is ridiculous.  So I want to have enough space for it in my bag.  How do I over-pack, yet save space?!  GAH!

________________________

I'm off to do as much actual work as I can today before tomorrow's travel.  Let me know if you a) know how to disappear a zit, b) want to share a cab, or c) care to share packing tips.

Things You Would Know About Me, If You'd Met Me In Person

Considering BlogHer '09 is coming up, and I'm about to meet some of you face-to-face, mano-a-mano, up close and personal, I thought it might be appropriate if I shared a few pertinent details that you probably wouldn't know just by reading my blog.

1. I'm a hair-twirler.

Most people find this highly annoying.  I can't blame them.  So far as I can remember, this particular habit started in junior high.  At the very least, I remember my pre-calculus classmates threatening to launch an intervention if I couldn't for-the-love-of-God stop twirling my hair!  It gets worse when I'm intensely focused or deep in thought (hence, the pre-cal troubles).  It doesn't seem to matter if my hair is short or long, curly or straight - I twirl away.  My apologies in advance, should you find yourself seated behind me in a conference room.

2. I fidget.

This may seem redundant.  But I have many other fidgeting habits distinct from the hair twirling.  Top on this list is leg bouncing or toe-twiddling.  Though it may look like I'm just twisting my foot around, I'm actually drawing pictures or tracing lines in the air with my toes.  No really.  I'm assuming this is directly tied to my visual-spatial learning, because I also do this more when I'm thinking.  I pick something in my line of sight (not consciously) and begin to trace it with my foot.  Lovely, aren't I?!

3. I'm great with faces, bad with names.

Hello, visual-spatial!  You can tell me nine times, but unless I see it written out or can attach your name to a particularly interesting story (or, in the case of fellow bloggers, your blog design), I will not be able to recall your name.  I will, however, be able to tell you 15 years later that you look familiar and that I'm sure we know each other somehow.  Good thing for name tags and business cards. 

4. I have persistent melasma.

Wait!  Come back!  It's not as bad as it sounds, I promise.  Melasma is more commonly known as the "mask of pregnancy".  It's darker pigmentation on the face, and in my case, i looks like I've got one very large freckle covering each check.  And it's getting worse.  I'm getting some freckling within the melasma, and as of last week I noticed it on my chin, too.  I fit none of the risk factors for melasma - I'm not dark-skinned or hirsute, I never had it as a result of birth control pills, and I never had melasma during pregnancy until Hannah.  It went away a few months after her birth, and then returned when I was pregnant with Caroline, at which point it decided to get comfy and stay.

My mom claims that you can't see it, and make-up does a fairly good job of covering it, but I'm beginning to think it's getting worse.  My proof: When asked if he thought it was getting worse, Todd immediately responded, "Yeah."  Todd.  Oblivious Todd.  If he notices, it must be obvious.

I've done a little poking around online, and sadly, there aren't really any effective treatments.  Feel free to refer to me as Spot when we meet.

5. I seem taller than I really am.

I like to think it's because I carry myself well.  But it's probably got more to do with my proportions.  People will regularly say, "You're what, 5'10"?"  And I give them the forlorn eyebrow and say, "I wish.  More like 5'7"."  Not that that's short by any stretch (heh!).  It's just not tall-tall.

6. ... Until I sit down.

This is most definitely a consequence of my proportions.  Despite my best effort, I suddenly seem like a pygmy when seated.  I hate board room meetings for this very reason.  I enter the room proud, confident, commanding.  And then I sit.  And feel like a second-grader on Bring Your Child to Work Day.  Other people have asked me why I was given the short chair at restaurants, or what was wrong with my bar stool.  Nothing.  I just have the torso of a 4'9" person.

7. My voice is higher pitched than you expected.

In fairness, you would know this if you listened to that interview on Ghetto Geeks, or the videos of me crooning at my girls.  Still, I know it surprises folks.  It even surprises me when I hear myself recorded.  Trust me, inside my head, I have a much more grown-up voice.

8. My wardrobe is low on cute, coordinated outfits.

I'm glad the conference is only four days.  Because that's the longest consecutive span of days I've been out in public.  Since, like, 2002.

9. I cry easily.

Say something really sweet and nice, and I'll probably tear up.  Say something mean or careless, and I'm guaranteed to cry.  Tell me a story about something cute, fuzzy, patriotic, selfless, inspiring, funny, witty, or related to mothers and/or grandmothers, and I'll cry.  Catch me off guard or try to scare me, and I'll not only cry, I'll freak right the 'eff out and scream at you.  (Ask Todd, he knows.)  I'm going to go out on a limb and venture that this is related to being a Highly Sensitve Person.  Don't worry, I'll be alright.

10. You tell me.

I couldn't come up with a 10th item.  But I'm sure there's something.  If you've never met me, take a guess.  And if you have, what did you learn that you wouldn't have known just from reading this blog?

A "Me" Day, and a Fresh Look

The girls are at daycare (thank God Hannah recovered quickly), and I'm taking a "me" day.  Last night I went to bed at 8:30.  I'm pretty sure I haven't done that since the food poisoning hell of last summer.  But I needed it.  I felt physically ill, with body aches like the flu.  I don't know if it was just the stress and sadness of the day, or some minor version of what Hannah had.  Caroline had a rough night, too, so she might have been feeling the same.  I slept in some this morning, but honestly, I could really use about a week of sleep to really recuperate.

So today I decided to just do fun or relaxing stuff.  Top on my list was redesigning the blog.  My big motivation was getting some sort of logo that I could use on business cards for BlogHer '09, which is two weeks away.

[Sticking my fingers in my ears and singing, "la la la la lala la lala" so as not to think about all I have to do before then.]

This is actually a wholly different design than the other one I worked up a few days ago.  I'm fickle that way.  So take a minute to click through and tell me what you think.  Actually, only tell me what you think if you like it.  Or if you have some minor tweak that won't cost me hours to fix.  Deal?

I'm tempted to go with a funnier tag line, like "now with 50% more eyebrow" or "lettin' the cracks show," but I'm afraid that would lose first-time readers who may just appreciate a straight-forward description.

Now I just need to work up the business cards.  I think I'll eat lunch (at 3:15 in the afternoon!) and shower first, though.  I know - lofty ambitions.

On a more serious note, thank you all so very, very much for your kind words of condolence.  I think it would be naive of me not to recognize that losing Bear might trigger a bit of PTSD.  So I'm going out of my way to be kind to myself.

Are you treating yourself well today?  Any suggestions for one who's out of practice?

Pot Committed

We're all set!  For BlogHer '09, that is.  Moxie and I finally wrapped up our room reservation!  I was so excited at the pictures of the room and the notion of three whole nights of child-free time that I nearly swooned!  Until I began to think about the state of my wardrobe.  That snapped me out of it.  But I'll deal with that later.

Conference Registration? Check.
Airfare? Check. (Thanks, mom!)
Hotel? Check.

Well, mostly check.  I still need a bit more to cover taxes and all the other miscellaneous fees that mysteriously pop up on hotel bills.  But still.  I'm IN!  I'll come up with another give-away here in a bit to cover those last few expenses, so if you have any prize suggestions, drop me a line.

But more importantly, I need some input:

If you've been to one of these shindigs, what's your advice?  What should I do? Bring? Attend?  What should I avoid? Leave? Bow Out?

And if you haven't, what can I do to help you get something from this vicariously?  Tiny bottles of alcohol? Notes from sessions?  Best quotes from other attendees?  The dirt on your favorite bloggers?

Lemme know.  'Cause I'll do it.

_________________________________

In other news, if you're clicking through, you may have noticed that I'm running different ads.  Cecily hooked me up with PBS Sprout's advisory committee a while back, and they're behind the new ad company (and - clearly - the ad).  [Um, click away, if you like. I'm just sayin'. If you wanna.]

Ironically, I don't get Sprout.  But I went here to request it.  And in the meantime, Hannah loves Sprout's online activities, and I get a chance to share my outsider thoughts with the folks at Sprout.

If you have Sprout, you should check out their Father's Day activities.  You can submit a video of your kids with Dad and your kids could get to see themselves on TV!

So to summarize: Sprout = Cool.  New ads = More revenue? Maybe?